So, I’ve been working on not doing the lurking thing.  You know, when you read people’s stuff and think how awesome they are – but never say so and never contribute to the conversation – at least not directly.  Maybe you mention these brilliant people in conversation with friends or occasionally bring them up on your own blog – but again, that’s in your space, not theirs. You know, where the awesome people could actually hear you.

I’ve also been working on direct communication in my family.  We usually don’t talk to each other directly – we talk about each other to other family members instead and rely on this well-established network to share what we think needs sharing.  Growing up I thought this system of communication was great.  I thought of it as an intimate web of connection.  I loved that even if you hadn’t spoken to someone for a long while, you still would know what was going on with them.  As an older and wiser adult, I’ve come to understand that it’s not so intimate. It doesn’t always build healthy, strong webs of connection. It is at times quite gossipy.

So here’s the light bulb moment: I am a lurker in my own family.  And how I communicate in my family is how I’ve been connecting (or not) professionally.

[ quiet duh moment while I take that in and remember that my life coach reminded me again and again, "How we do one thing is how we do everything." ]

This explains a lot. Which makes changing the pattern easier… yay. I’ll see ya’ out there.

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