Here’s the thing:
You are perfectly fine just the way you are.
How you think doesn’t need changing.
Your job is not to change who you are, but to understand yourself well enough to do things in ways that make it easy for you to be your best you and do your best work and have the most fun.
At most, the only thing that might need changing is the way you do some of your stuff.
Your job is simply to get to know yourself and what works for you.
There are no right and wrong answers.
If I gave a group of people a bunch of tiles to sort – circles, squares and triangles painted red, blue and yellow – they would come up with at least three solutions to that request.
Some people would sort them into piles by color.
Some would sort them into piles by shape.
And some of us would sort them into piles by color and shape.
It’s all cool.
Unless you want to sort them by shape, but try to sort them by color. Because you think you should. Because other people are doing it that way. Because that’s the way the software is programmed. Because the productivity guru said it was the best way to do it.
It’s all good until you start denying that it’s good. And then it’s bad.
It’s bad when you want to sort by shape, but your filing is color coded.
It’s bad when you want to sort by color, but your VA, bookkeeper, or web-designer keeps sending it to you sorted by shape (because that’s how they think – not wrong, just different).
I’ll say it again. Your big beautiful quirky brain works just fine the way it is.
You just need to get to know it better so you can give it what it wants, so you can ask for things the way you want them.
I hereby grant you permission to be yourself and do it however you want to do it. It only has to make sense to you.
Hone in on what is so obvious to you that it hardly bears mentioning. There is a logic there even if not immediately apparent.
You’re probably not disorganized, it’s just that the way you group like with like is not exactly common or “standard” – you know, in the way that fits tidily into something you picked up from the office supply store (or the productivity book or the software program). Who knows why you think that way? Nature or nurture, it doesn’t matter.
What matters is you trying to make yourself fit into the stuff you picked up from the office supply store (or the productivity book or the software program) anyway. What matters is that you don’t end up using it because it feels completely foreign and illogical and never produces the results you want – and then blaming yourself.
What matters is that you conclude that you are a disorganized person who will always be that way. You conclude that the problem is you.
The problem is never you.
The problem is your systems.
As I said, your job is simply to get to know yourself and what works for you.
Except simple isn’t always easy.
It takes observation, experimentation and practice.
And it take a heap of compassion and self-acceptance.
And sometimes a little guidance from others who can help you see yourself more clearly. Who can reassure you. Who can suggest what might work, when all you know is what doesn’t work.
I’d love to be one of those people. Nothing would make me happier than to see you working with instead of against yourself. Seriously. It’s why I get up in the morning and do what I do. It’s that important.
• • • • •