Comments on: Overwhelm Is a Choice

By: What I learned from roller derby about self-sabotage. — Third Hand Works

What I learned from roller derby about self-sabotage. — Third Hand Works — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 17:09:36 +0000

[...] can respond to that moment of confusion by falling down and returning to the familiar work of breaking through the [...]

By: It’s faster to slow down. « How THW Gets In Gear

It’s faster to slow down. « How THW Gets In Gear — Mon, 25 May 2009 22:44:10 +0000

[...] this newsletter sounds a lot like the last one, it’s because the work of choosing is at the heart of a business and a life you enjoy. It [...]

By: Cairene

Cairene — Thu, 21 May 2009 15:08:57 +0000

@mona -
I love how you’ve articulated your emotions behind feeling attached to busy-ness, noticing what it does for you and how it helps you to say no. “I’d be just totally exposed and vulnerable and ready to be eaten alive.” I so get it – and I’m sure other people reading this will too. Funny how we feel we have to justify and explain our no’s, isn’t it? And not-so-funny how self-care or acknowledging our limits doesn’t seem to be sufficient reason…
Best to you in shifting this pattern! (right behind you!) There are indeed better ways of protecting ourselves.

By: Mona

Mona — Thu, 21 May 2009 03:32:10 +0000

Great post! You have one in your list that I recognized in myself recently…

If I wasn’t overwhelmed and always “behind” or “playing catch up” then I’d have no excuse for why I was saying no to doing something for or with someone.

When I’m BUSY…then it’s always socially acceptable to say, Ehhh…I gotta get back to work.

And everyone understands.

But if I’m caught up with stuff and I don’t have to “get back to something and catch up” then my fear (I realized) was that I’ll have nothing protecting me from all the people who want and need my attention.

Gasp!

And if *that* wasn’t there, then I’d have a really hard time saying no because there’d be no real REASON for saying no. I’d be just totally exposed and vulnerable and ready to be eaten alive. That’s how it seems in my mind, ya know?

I did start thinking about how there are other reasons I can say no to things…like I just don’t want to. I’m going to relax at home. I have something else to do – like be home by myself and chill out or whatever.

I haven’t totally resolved this pattern of mine to hang onto being behind and overwhelmed sometimes so I can use it as an excuse, but thinking about it on my own a bit and coming across your post here all contributes to me finding my way. Thanks!

By: One way to build your choosing muscles. « How THW Gets In Gear

One way to build your choosing muscles. « How THW Gets In Gear — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:28:28 +0000

[...] a small but important part of taking responsibility for my overwhelm, building my choosing muscles, and knowing just how much is enough. Possibly related posts: [...]

By: Cairene

Cairene — Tue, 12 May 2009 02:34:30 +0000

@Jessica
Yeah, it makes sense. You’re trying to make your words and actions match and stay in integrity. But it’s more of an outward integrity. A “what will people think” integrity. Which I so get. It’s the internal integrity that is so challenging. Like I said, these are not easy things… it takes a heap of practice.

I really do highly recommend Jen Louden’s book for help with the taking time out for yourself part (see above). She’s the best.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:12:15 +0000

I’m notorious for using overwhelm as an excuse. One reason is that I feel guilty taking time out for myself. But I can’t say no to someone for that reason – so I say I can’t do something because I’m really overwhelmed. And then I don’t like to lie so I run around doing all kinds of stuff that “must” be done instead of taking the time for myself that I need. Does that make any sense??

By: Cairene

Cairene — Mon, 11 May 2009 19:08:46 +0000

@Jennifer
It’s your book and the Comfort Cafe that are helping *me* get a handle on this stuff! Definitely better together :)
And a novel? hmmm… very intrigued.

@Leah
If any aha’s come from your thinking, please come back and share. Would love to hear about them.

By: leah

leah — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:37:42 +0000

oooh, great post!! lots to think about here.

By: Jennifer Louden

Jennifer Louden — Mon, 11 May 2009 15:52:47 +0000

Love this! So much of my personal work and my comfort stuff is related to this subtle sometimes very tricky shift out of overwhelm and over doing into something more flowing. I tried to articulate one way to do it in my last book, The Life Organizer, and I continue to find / flow / struggle/ laugh at this modern dilemma. I think I’ve even started a novel about it.

Thanks for another great post. i am loving your blog.