Although the word originates from the Latin for learning/teaching, our associations with discipline are usually negative ones of strict control through punishment.

Which makes the idea of self-discipline not so appealing.

In recent years, I’ve come to define self-discipline more in accordance with its Latin root. I see self-discipline as a practice of self-awareness – of learning all about you. Up to now I’ve defined it as understanding yourself well enough to create the environments that make it easy to be your best you – circumstances in which force isn’t necessary because you have what you need and your are doing what you want in ways you like.

And, yes, the ability to create and enter a supportive space is a big part of self-discipline.

But there’s more to it than that.

As I think through what’s required to finish things – and achieving goals certainly requires discipline – I’m realizing my definition has been lacking the element of sticktoitiveness. I think this gets closer to the real equation:

Discipline =
ability to create and enter a supportive space +
a clear sense of purpose +
a willingness to be uncomfortable

I can hear you saying, “Wait a minute. You just said this was all about learning to make things easy for yourself.”

It is. But environment can only take you so far.

At some point, I’m guessing you’re going to want to do something new, stretch yourself, grow in some way. At minimum, that new will require some adaptation. That change might happen smoothly, but it’s more likely to be rather awkward if not downright scary.

Between here and new is discomfort. If you want new you’re going to have to move through it – thus the necessity of a willingness to be uncomfortable.

Your clear sense of purpose gives you a reason to bother doing such a difficult thing (eyes on the prize and all that).

Your supportive space protects your energy and creates safety so you can keep moving rather than being paralyzed by fear.

Without clarity or compassionate support, we’re right back to discipline as a mean form of force through self-punishment.

But by themselves, clarity and support won’t get you very far. From what I’m observing in my own work and that of my student and clients, the discipline required to realize your biggest ambitions includes a regular and consistent willingness to be uncomfortable.

(Who knows? When it’s the right sort of discomfort, you might even learn to like it. Well, sorta.)

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How do you define discipline?

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