The latest installment in an occasional series: how I unplugged over the weekend.

Sometimes, as much as you try to honor your sabbath, you can’t unplug.

There’s stuff going on. Social engagements. Appointments that can’t be scheduled on other days. Your boss (whether that’s you or someone else) insists on overtime. An anxious part of your mind simply won’t let you stop already.

I had three out of four of those going on this weekend. Actually, it was the second weekend in a row like that – and I’m feeling it.

How I am missing my sabbath.

But instead of beating myself up about my lack of commitment, poor planning, etc. – I’m choosing to notice what happens when I don’t find ways to unplug.

#%@^$&*!!
Having used up my reserves, I was left with almost nothing in the way of patience and understanding. Everything was annoying.

Sigh.
And the ennui! I felt like a kid moping about the house whining about how there’s nothing to doooo. Like it’s possible to be bored on a summer day.

Oof.
Everything was also exhausting. Ordinarily small tasks felt overwhelming. There was motion, but nothing was happening – least of all anything fun.

In truth, I had something of a sabbath. I kept trying to unplug and do nice things to take care of myself between other obligations. There was the making of an experimental pie. Some gardening. A little napping. And while that was better than nothing, it didn’t really do the trick. Overall, the combination of irritation, boredom and exhaustion led to less than restorative choices. (I could probably write a whole post just about how that combination led me to the foods I chose to eat.)

You’d think that, when you are tired, unplugging would be the easiest thing in the world. But one’s weekday activities create a certain momentum. You know: a body in motion will remain in motion unless acted on my another force.

And so I am reminded once again why we need transitions and rituals – actions that help us gently change our direction without feeling jerked out of our sockets. Actions that allow the anxiously productive parts of ourselves to feel safe about taking a break.

Because if I had felt safe…

• Little upsets would have been much less of a threat – and therefore I would have been less crabby about everything.

• I would have been able to hear and follow my inner voice of play without all the whiny drama.

• I wouldn’t have felt the need to be in motion. Who cares if anything is happening? Let’s take another nap.

If I had felt safe, I would have been able to rest – in whatever form that took – even between the other stuff going on.

Note to self: This Friday, do not skip doing what you know creates safety. Because Monday mornings are a big drag when you are this depleted.

What helps you feel safe enough to unplug?

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Related posts:

1. Weekend Hijacked
2. I took the weekend off…