It’s Way Back Wednesday – in which I revisit the blog archives from this month of years past. Because there are patterns to be found. And it’s easy to forget what we already know.

Here’s a snapshot of what was going down in October 2008.

• • • • •

It’s my blogiversary! More than 350 posts began with this one published February 7, 2008.

“Inspired by their confident intuition, I too begin.”

Amazingly, I’m still not bored or unimpressed with this post – it remains one of my all-time favorites.

• • • • •

That same month I discovered Martha Beck’s super-useful take on the difference between monochrones and polychrones, transition anxiety, and what she calls “the art of the dismount.” I expect it’s what got me to thinking about the importance of transitions. And I still talk about sticking your landing with clients. And I still love to work in my pajamas.

• • • • •

Ever the science geek, later that month I attempted to tie Newton’s First and Second Laws to productivity.

PACE (acceleration) = DO MORE (force) / LIGHTEN UP (mass)

There’s no avoiding physics. And I still think this is pretty great equation for success.

• • • • •

Sadly, February now includes another anniversary. Our beloved dog Max reached the end of his long and wonderful  life with us earlier this month. There’s a lot I could say about all the beautiful ways he expanded my experience and understanding of the world, of being present in the now, of optimism, and of love. But I still can’t get through even that short sentence without tearing up, so this will have to serve as my memorial for now: Everything I Need To Know About Self Care, I’ve Learned From My Dog.

• • • • •

In celebration of my blogiversary, I’m making the Anthology available for just $17 through the month of February.

The Anthology is a collection of my favorite articles written between 2008-2011. It’s 196 pages of material born from the everyday, hands-on experience of crafting a life and business that is both sane and rewarding.

This retrospective includes practical observations and guidance on the topics of • systems • money, law and technology • planning • success and failure • overwhelm • choosing priorities • transitions • finishing • practice and perfectionism • radical self-acceptance • learning • self-care • organizing your space and stuff • and more. And the blogiversary edition also includes three of my favorite articles from 2012 (that’s 70 essays altogether – and insight at 25 cents apiece!). Get your hands on a copy here.

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.
3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.
4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.
5. We don’t give ourselves breaks.
6. We don’t allow for the Dirt.
7. We lack finishing skills.

• • • • •

8. We didn’t want to do it in the first place.

Yes, there are generally a small handful of distasteful tasks in our lives that need finishing whether we want to do them or not.

The rest all comes down to choice. And we have a greater ability to choose than we think we do.

Somehow, many of us have gotten it into our heads that doing what we want won’t get us what we want; that we have to do things we don’t want to do in order to be able to do the things we do want to do.

The thing is, it doesn’t really work that way. What you focus on grows. Doing what you don’t want just brings more of what you don’t want.

And no matter how skillful you become in crafting them, there’s no system or container in the world that will make you love what you don’t love. If you can’t identify the why, there’s no point in crafting the remaining elements of a container for doing.

It’s very hard to make yourself finish things that are out of alignment with your strengths, values or lifestyle.

If an activity doesn’t serve you in any meaningful way, where’s your motivation to complete it? Of course it’s going to drag on and on and on and on.

Put yourself and such projects out of your collective misery. Finish them by dropping them from your to-do list altogether.

Drop them so you can finish what actually matters to you.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.
3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.
4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.
5. We don’t give ourselves breaks.
6. We don’t allow for the Dirt.

• • • • •

7. We lack finishing skills.

Starting is easy. Thinking about starting is even easier. As Lisa Baldwin says, it’s all pure potentiality at that point.

But the closer and closer we get to finishing a thing, especially if its something we plan to share with the world, the more challenges we tend to encounter. And the challenges of the last 20% are very different from the challenges of the first 80% of a project (a truth we like to deny).

We’re tired. Maybe even bored.

All the fun and easy bits are done, with only the not-so-fun bits left to complete.

The pure potentiality of the next thing becomes more and more seductive and distracting.

The gap between what we originally saw in our mind’s eye and what we’ve actually created may seem to be widening. Performance anxiety sets in.

Add a little fussy perfectionism to the tired, bored and anxious and a project can slow to a crawl – and end up taking much longer than expected.

This is why observation, defining done and planning how to care for your energy at the outset are so important.

If you’ve observed what you’ve done before, you’ll recognize this as a phase. And chances are, the challenges (and the Dirt) that arise during the final stages of completion are part of a pattern. And because it’s a pattern, you can plan how to bypass or compensate for it. You’ll recognize the transitional moment when you need to change you container.

If you’ve defined how much is enough, you’ll be able to see whether that gap is real or an illusion.

If you’ve planned how to care for your energy, you’ll have the extra oomph needed for the final push already in place – whether that’s Skittles and Coke (or green smoothies), an accountability buddy or a daily neck massage (or a Bee!).

The last 5% is a bitch.

It just is. Even when you’re finishing something you’re really excited about. Don’t take it personally. Ignore your doubt and anxiety. Stick to the plan. (This is not a time to make decisions!) Stay in your container. Keep your eyes on the prize.

This is discipline.

More than the ability to craft a supportive container, discipline is your willingness to be uncomfortable. As Susan Piver would say, it’s about bringing yourself back.

And the only way to get better at it, the only way to build your finishing muscles, is to practice. Sooner or later, it does get easier.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #8. We didn’t want to do it in the first place.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.
3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.
4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.
5. We don’t give ourselves breaks.

• • • • •

6. We don’t allow for the Dirt.

Another reason tasks and projects take longer to finish that we expect is we don’t allow for the Dirt.

By Dirt, I mean the other stuff that comes up in the process of digging for treasure. It’s rarely some deep-dark-repressed-scary thing. It’s just our usual baggage. Limiting beliefs. Past conclusions drawn about who we are and how the world works that no longer apply. Our subconscious rules about how a thing “should” be done.

Our Dirt can easily stall a project if we don’t allow sufficient space and plan appropriate supports to clear it away.

Whether it’s new Dirt or a frustratingly familiar pattern, it’s hard to anticipate what’s going to show up. Allowing space for the Dirt is part of allowing wiggle room for the unpredictable. Dirt-sweeping is part of what you’ll be doing with that extra padding you’ve built into your project timeline. (Again, worst-case scenario, you don’t need it and end up with time for something more fun.)

And by supports to help clear it away, I mean people. A coach. [ my go-to dirt-sweeper ] A mastermind. Anyone who can help you see past your own blinders and step out of old ruts – efficiently and effectively. (You can DIY your dirt-clearing, but it will be harder and take longer than it needs to.)

Again, this is why it’s so important that support and camaraderie is built into your container for doing from the outset – and that you ask for help when you need it.

Like other disruptions, you can’t know what’s going to come up beforehand – but it’s likely something will. And you don’t have to know exactly what it will be to be prepared to handle it in a way that doesn’t slow you down.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #7. We lack finishing skills.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.
3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.
4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.

• • • • •

5. We don’t give ourselves breaks.

As discussed, fully preparing our containers for doing ensures we’re not working from a place of depletion.

Even then, we still tend to overestimate our energy and abilities. Our expectation of being able to finish quickly and easily is often born of superhuman expectations of our own endurance (which is really just another manifestation of perfectionism).

When we try to live up to those expectations, we tend to work until we collapse in a heap. And the time needed to recover is what results in a project taking longer to complete than desired or anticipated.

It’s actually faster to take breaks. A streamlined project is one that includes space for rest and contrasting activities, as well as transitions.

contrasts are refreshing

Obviously, rest is a contrasting activity to work and is therefore refreshing. But so are engaging activities that are simply different from the task at hand. They’re work, but a contrasting type of work – and that contrast is what allows you to recharge and refill.

Alternating between mental and physical activities is my favorite form of refreshment. For instance, when I need a break from writing, I walk the dog.

Switching from solitude to connection also works. When my mind feels like an foggy echo chamber, I pop into my favorite forum.

As does swapping professional and domestic tasks. When I need a break from replying to email, I throw a load of laundry in the washer. (Maintenance and breaks are a match made in heaven.)

A contrasting activity doesn’t have to be lengthy to be effective. It’s more about the difference than the duration. It just can’t be so different that you lose your flow. Which brings us to transitions.

getting in and out of it

Most of us can’t turn on a dime. It takes some time to get out of one activity and into the next. And it’s not allowing for the spaces in between things that is seriously messing up our days and weeks and months.

Most of us are fine while we’re immersed in the doing of a thing. It’s how we shift from one thing to the next that is the real challenge.

You need ways to exit an activity that gives you a satisfying sense of completion and frees you to move on to the next thing, while also providing yourself a breadcrumb trail back into it.

You need ways to keep yourself from falling into the rabbit holes that are everywhere in the spaces in between – social media, email, this pile or that – and have nothing to do with refreshing contrasts.

In a word, you need systems – guidelines and guardrails that keep you from meandering all over the place, yet still allow you to replenish your energy.

It’s all part of crafting the energy/how part of your container for doing. If you choose not just when you’ll take breaks and how to bookmark your progress, but also give yourself genuinely refreshing options to choose from in advance – your project is far less likely to be delayed by depletion and a loss of focus.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #6. We don’t allow for the Dirt.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.
3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.

• • • • •

4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.

As we discussed, doing something new requires padding our timelines to allow for our learning curve.

But there’s more to allowing wiggle room than that. Because the future itself is unpredictable.

In the course of completing a task or project, we encounter challenges and possibilities we cannot possibly anticipate. From technical difficulties to the common cold. From the distraction of new ideas and rabbit holes to awesome opportunities that need to be seized in the moment.

For example…

Let’s say it’s time to send your newsletter. Everything is going swimmingly until it’s time to upload the final draft to your newsletter service and format it. You log in and – hello! – there is an announcement about a new way to integrate your newsletter with Facebook. That seems cool, so you investigate. Which means opening Facebook too. And next thing you know, it’s an hour later, you’ve gotten lost (and maybe even triggered) in the stream of information that is your wall – and your newsletter still isn’t sent (let alone integrated with social media).

After you’ve brought yourself back to the task at hand and sent the darn thing already, you probably find yourself wondering once again why sending your newsletter takes so much longer than you think it will.

Partly, it’s not being clear about the edges. At one point you had a choice between sending your newsletter then investigating integration with social media at a more appropriate time.

But that kind of mental vigilance can be hard to maintain, as can resisting curiosity (though it gets easier with practice). So it makes sense, even for smaller tasks, to allow space for the unexpected – like innocent little announcements from service providers.

Bad or good, we need to allow space for the unpredictable. Again, I’d allow at least an additional 25% – on top of the wiggle room you’ve allowed for the new. So, if you think it’s going to take four days or weeks or months to complete something untried, give yourself at least six rather than five.

You can’t know what disruptions are going to arise, but I can pretty much guarantee something will – so allow for it. Worst case scenario: everything goes according to plan and you end up with some free time on your hands.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #5. We don’t give ourselves breaks.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.
2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.

• • • • •

3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.

There is such a thing as too much planning, but I don’t encounter it very often. Fantasizing. Yes. Waiting to feel ready. Yes. But not actual planning.

Crafting the six elements of your container – the conditions in which completion will take place – before you begin is essential.

Not doing so is one of the biggest reasons it takes more time to finish things than we want or expect. Mainly because we’re working on empty. We can’t work efficiently and effectively when we’re running on fumes. Fully preparing containers ensures we’re not working from a place of depletion and distraction.

It’s not enough to know what you are doing when and how long you think it will take.

You need to know why you are doing it in the first place.

You need to choose an environment that is conducive to doing the work.

You need to plan how you will care for your physical, mental and emotional energy while working.

And you need to know who the work serves and who is supporting you in turn.

don’t go it alone

Your work may need solitude, but it’s very difficult to thrive in isolation. And as genius as your superpowers are, they may not give you the insight you need if you get stalled. The lenses that give us unique clarity about the world don’t always give us clarity about ourselves. So its useful to include outside perspectives and encouragement in our containers for doing.

Ideally, that support and camaraderie is built in from the outset – whether that’s participating in a mastermind group or booking regular work parties or coaching sessions.

And when it’s not built in, know who to call if you hit a rough patch. Get help sooner rather than later. My rule of thumb is two weeks – as in: if you can’t follow through on an intention for more than two weeks, it’s time to ask for support.

your Worried Hurried Mind Hamster will ask that you skip this

Taking the time and energy to get specific about your what, when, why, where, how and who is something your WHMH may not want you to do – and will probably insist that you not do.

All I can suggest when that happens is to distract your WHMH by putting him in his critter cruiser so you can get on with your planning. Because it’s an investment that will pay off in a task or project that is completed much closer to “on time.”

• • • • •

Next: Reason #4. We don’t give ourselves wiggle room.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.

• • • • •

2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.

Of course, things are going to take longer to finish than we expect if we don’t know where the stopping point actually is.

We can’t be done if we haven’t defined done. We can’t finish (let alone measure) activities that have no edges.

Preparation is always part of the work, and part of preparation is defining completion. What’s in? What’s out? How much is enough?

As creatives, we have some qualities and tendencies that make defining how much is enough a little tricky.

we know more than we think we do

This one gets me every time. (It’s happening right now as I right this series!) I assume simplicity where there is complexity. And once I see all those connections, it’s hard for me to resist addressing them – even though they weren’t in my original definition of what was in and out of the scope of the project.

(This is a very good reason to conduct an experiment first.)

we like refinement

Add the desire for thoroughness and polish to that broader understanding and you have conditions ripe for perfectionism. Fuss, fuss, fuss – over details that don’t matter. Because we haven’t noticed that we crossed the line of good enough or that’s another project several drafts back. Because we didn’t mark where that line was in the first place.

completion is something we like to feel

Trusting one’s intuition is a good thing. But knowing something is done because it just feels finished can be a bit problematic. If what you’re really feeling in the bottom of your gut is a little insecurity or anxiety, that’s going to alter your sense of done. Sometimes you need something more objective to measure your work against, to be able to recognize done.

Which is why it’s useful to define completion at the outset.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #3. We don’t prepare properly. And we go it alone.

• • • • •

It’s Way Back Wednesday – in which I revisit the blog archives from this month of years past. Because there are patterns to be found. And it’s easy to forget what we already know.

Here’s a snapshot of what was going down in September 2008.

• • • • •

There is evidence of my early inklings about the importance of transitions, taking breaks, and leaving oneself a breadcrumb trail to finishing.

There are also early glimpses of the truths that new takes a staggering amount of space (“Don’t do two firsts in one week, even if you are Super Planner Girl.”) and that you most need to use your tools when you don’t feel like you need them (“You know your systems are working for you if things begin to fall apart when you neglect them.)

And clearly a preoccupation with balancing focused work with self-care (some things never change).

On the one hand I was asking myself what would happen if I gave my truly undivided, undiluted attention to achieving my ambition to work on my own terms.

“That ambition is all well and good, but it strikes me that unless you’re a rebel with a cause, it doesn’t mean very much.”

And on the other hand asking myself how to stop working on that mission during the weekend to refill my well.

“Apparently, I have a limit past which even a simple blog entry is a too much to tackle without proper nourishment in return.”

Not coincidentally, it’s also when I first started crushing on neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky and his study of stress.

“Turns out how we spend our days – what and who and how much we love – really can kill us or save us.”

And, of course I couldn’t address self-care without addressing my environment. Fueled by the changing energy of the shift from summer to fall, I did a lot of domestic cleaning and organizing.

“Some nesting thing kicked in, too – as though my subconscious knows I’m going to be spending a lot more time indoors soon, so I might as well make it as pleasant as possible.”

It created renewed flow in my home. Possibly some feng shui. And beauty.

“I hope I’m preaching to the converted when I remind you that beauty is functional, that beauty can change behavior. Beauty matters. Beauty is worth cultivating.”

 • • • • •

But my favorite post of September 2008 was a two-sentence observation about another business person’s success.

” ‘It’s not rocket science. It’s just repetition,’ is Beekley’s modest assessment of her baking prowess.

“I can’t even peruse the morning paper without being reminded that it’s all about habits.”

Truth that.

• • • • •

Dug this ride in the Way Back Machine? Deluxe time travel into the archives can be found here.

• • • • •

It’s an all-too-common experience. We set out to do something only to realize somewhere along the way that it’s going to take twice as long to complete it than we planned. (Okay, make that three or four times longer.) It doesn’t matter if the project is big or small, professional or domestic, anticipated or dreaded – our expectations often go unmet in the same ways.

It’s easy to chalk that miscalculation up to optimism, but I want to talk about eight reasons for that miscalculation that I actually observe in myself and my clients – and what to do about them.

1. We underestimate the project.

This reason probably comes as no surprise – and that underestimation has two sources. Either we’re doing something familiar that we haven’t bothered to measure, or we’re doing something unfamiliar that we don’t know enough about to make any sort of accurate prediction.

measuring the familiar

There are tasks you do over and over again – usually routine maintenance and administration, but also your creative work – that can be observed and measured.

For a week or so, keep a timer handy and make notes about how long it actually takes to complete your day-to-day activities. Replace the stories you tell yourself about how long you wish or fear something will take to complete with solid information that you can use when planning a timeline.

Start with the basics. How long does it really take to keep yourself nourished, clean and healthy? To keep your surroundings clean and healthy? To handle routine admin tasks like paying bills or replying to email? Your basics are the backbone of your business and life. You can’t allow sufficient time for these essentials if you don’t know how much time that is.

Then measure your creative work. How long does it take – on average – for you to draft a thousand words? Or the picture that’s worth a thousand words? Sure, one’s muse can be fickle, and some days flow better than others, but there is a consistent pattern you can observe over time.

The numbers that emerge are just information. They don’t say anything about you, the amazing human being who just had the guts to observe her actions. However, the numbers that emerge might say something about your systems. If you don’t like the numbers, consider devoting some time and energy to streamlining those actions.

In the meantime, make your plans based on the reality of your present skills rather than on magical thinking about what you hope they are in future.

measuring the unfamiliar

As creatives, we’re frequently engaged in something new. We might be able to make an educated guess about how long a task or project will take based on past experience, but chances are that guess will be off.

Which leaves us with two options: conducting an experiment and/or padding our timeline.

By experiment, I mean: What’s the initial step or smallest form of this thing that you could do and measure in order to get more accurate information on which to base your plan?

Conducting such experiments is especially important in the context of large, previously untried projects. And even more important if you are excited about that project. Your enthusiasm and optimism will tend to skew your judgment and then, next thing you know, you’re weeks or months off schedule.

Even with the information gleaned from your experiment(s), your project still holds unknowns. So it’s useful to pad your timeline anyway and leave yourself space for your learning curve. I’d allow at least an additional 25% – that is, if you think it’s going to take four days or weeks or months, give yourself five.

And takes notes along the way so you can better plan for next time.

• • • • •

Next: Reason #2. We haven’t defined our stopping point.

• • • • •