On Saturday, I participated in Jen Hofmann’s Office Spa Day – which was such a treat. Wow is my office looking spiffy as a result. (I realize cleaning may not sound like unplugging, but unplugging isn’t always about resting – there are other forms of refreshment and decluttering is one of them.)

Before breaking to clean, Jen had everyone do a lovely little guided visualization and during it I realized that what I wanted for Monday morning was for my desk and the space around it to be clear and up-to-date. Even though I’d really like The Pile to be gone, it’s behind me. What I most wanted, what I knew I would most benefit from, was to deal with what was in front of me.

So I began working from what I call my Circles of Influence. Basically, the idea is to simply start from the spot where you spend the most time – in this instance, where I sit in my chair – and deal with what is within immediate view or arm’s reach. Once that’s done, then clear a little farther beyond that – more to the left or right, above or below. And so forth, in ever wider concentric circles (spheres would be more accurate) until the entire space is clear.

It was really tempted to start with the neglected corners. I really wanted to work on The Pile – and while removing will have a payoff, it’s not the same immediate boost as having the space in front of me clutter free.

So I stuck with my circles.

• sticky notes were removed from the computer and telephone – then both were dusted
• I removed years-old odds and ends from my bulletin board
• I filed all the papers on my desk
• I sorted through my little bin of office supplies – tossing dry pens and whatnot (I even found my social security card where it really didn’t belong)
• more dusting
• moving outward, I cleared the shelf above my desk – meaning I could move some binders off my desk
• I then organized the bookshelf to my left, filling my recycling bin in the process
• more dusting
• turning around, I then gave my attention to The Pile – which is smaller (yay!) and will (scout’s honor) be gone by the end of the month

It feels so much better to “come to work” now. More than space, there is possibility. More than room for good new things, there is room for action.

For example: making art. Because my office is – with a swivel of my chair – also my studio. And I made something yesterday. I crafted it up all day long. I haven’t done that in ages and it felt really great to play that way. (And I like how the project turned out to boot – always a plus.)

The vibe in my workspace is different today. It’s new and refreshed. Not only because I removed old and useless physical reminders of the past, but because I created a pleasurable and gratifying new memory of what happens in this space.

As I write this, the sun is shining through the window and I’m happy to be here. Sigh. Yay for Office Spa Day (and thanks Jen).

Related posts:

1. Clearing out this, that and the other.
2. Order from Influence
3. Productivity Mind

“I choose to find the good this week by not trying so hard to make the good happen. It’s a bit scary to be open to possibility (opening can hurt, as you point out). But then again there isn’t room for much of anything beautiful within the narrow focus and tight grasp of control. So here goes…”

[ * Can I write a post without mentioning Jen? Gawd, I am such a groupie. ]

Here’s what I learned about letting go…

Letting go of opinion.

Other people’s that is.
I wrote a newsletter that I was a bit freaked out to send – and got the most fabulous fan mail. (Thank you.) I wrote lots of tardy email replies that I felt terribly guilty about only to get responses like, “Don’t ever worry about ‘not replying sooner’ – we all have lives beyond our computers that are a lot more important!”

Lesson Learned: Since I’m not good at guessing what other people are thinking anyway, I’m going to stop worrying about it so much. (Hear that, Stat Crack? You’re next.)

Letting go of the past.

There was period in my life a few years back that was pretty darn dark. And my recovery – the latter part after I had moved through the worst of it – included removing any and all reminders of that period. It was mostly physical reminders I did away with, but some babies got thrown out with the bathwater (as they say) in the form of relationships. You know. People. Lovely, lovely people. I’ve had a few of those people seek me out or stumble upon me in recent months – and reconnecting with them has been the most delightful and healing of reunions (they too were not thinking the kinds of thoughts about me I thought they were thinking). Case in point: catching up with the incomparable Stacy Brice. That was one fun (and long) conversation.

Lesson Learned: Though we are shaped by it, we are not defined or limited by our past.

Letting go of anxiety.

This is tricky because I need to do this through my body. But when I’m grasping, the last thing I want to do is stop and go walk or eat or brush my teeth or sleep or just breathe. Must Do! says my Worried Hamster, but I’m a wreck without that stuff.

Lesson Learned: In progress. My hamster and I still have a lot of negotiating to do on this one. Sensing an imminent breakthrough, though. This helped.

And what did I gain by letting go?

I do a little wrap-up of the week on Friday mornings and one of the questions I ask myself is “Who did I connect with?” And this week’s answer just blew me away. My cup runneth over with all the beautiful souls whose paths crossed mine in some meaningful way in the past five days. It’s staggering. And it has been so much fun.

Such are the rich returns of – I was going to saying being not doing – but it’s really doing with more genuine, open, trusting being-ness.

What did you learn this week?

• • • • •

Related posts:

1. Seven Lesson Round-Up
2. Gratitude Learned
3. Lessons Learned #8 – One Way to Keep Bad Stuff from Happening

I just don’t feel I need to know everything anymore. At least, not right this second, while it’s happening. It’s too easy these days to find what I need when I need it to worry about that.

I don’t feel left out of the loop the way I thought I would. I still know about the things I care about. And it’s a huge relief not to have to decide if I should DO something with all that information coming in.

Including whether or not to buy stuff.

And yet, there remain temptations. Or opportunities, depending on how you look at it.

Even when we’re choosy, we’re still presented with a lot of choices.

There’s a lot going on around here at Third Hand Works:

• this Thursday’s very timely and much-needed workshop on Inner Spring Cleaning with stuff-shifting sound-master Fabeku
• plus, we’re Spring Cleaning all month at the Maintenance Department
• not one but two (yes, a Saturday!) Bite the Candy sessions in March
• the Living Theme Booster Program (I know my annual theme could use a boost)
• another opportunity to become a Time Disciple and heal your relationship with Time
• and the soon-to-be-revealed make-over of the Organic Business Manual course (stay tuned)

It’s a list I am excited to share. But I’m also a bit worried about sharing it. Because maybe it’s a little overwhelming. (And it’s not like there aren’t other cool workshops and classes and programs in front of you.)

How do you know what is the right thing at the right time?

How do you know the difference between educational temptation and opportunity?

I could make this a lot shorter by just pointing you to Naomi’s and Jen Louden’s wise words about this, but let’s see if I can add something useful to their good advice.

Know your shoulds:
For instance, I think I should care about SEO. But I don’t. Not really. And maybe that’s hurting my business, but I don’t care enough to do anything about it right now. Just ask the unread ebooks languishing on my hard drive. Pass. (Then again, you might have a should about not spending on your development – it can go both ways.)

Know your weak spots:
There are people out there sharing their brilliance in amazing ways. I love their stuff. But because they are also very persuasive copywriters, I also know when to sit on my hands, calm down and think about it before making a decision.

Know your other weak spots:
The seduction of the new. The promise of a quick fix. The avoidance of the hard work you already have the knowledge to do, but just don’t want muddle through.

Know the difference between their urgency and your real immediate needs:
It’s a great program! At an unbelievable price! That ends today! Um, you’ll save even more by not spending anything on something you don’t need. It’s only a deal if it solves a problem you actually have and can put it to work in your life now. (Most things don’t truly disappear anyway – mine included.)

Know what you already have:
I’m cataloguing my learning library so when feel the need for information or guidance I can turn there instead of investing once again in something new. There’s a decent chance that if I feel the need, it’s because I didn’t learn it when I bought it. (I have gigabytes of unused material, so no more shopping for me until I use what I already have.)

Know if you have the time:
If you have the money to spend, almost anything that meets a real immediate need in your business will give you a return on that investment. But only if you have the time to invest as well. Don’t buy it if you aren’t going to do the work (and then feel guilty about that). [see unused gigabytes]

Know what works for you:
If the structure of a class is a better learning environment than being left to your own devices with a home-study (or vice versa), choose accordingly. Same with audio vs. print. Or live events vs. tele-courses. Or groups vs. one-to-one.

Know what you don’t and can’t know:
Recently, I brought an odd set of symptoms to my doctor. Turns out there is a straightforward explanation for what I’ve been experiencing, but it’s something I would never have been able to figure out on my own. I simply don’t have the knowledge, skills or tools. Sometimes you need an expert.

Know when it’s better together:
Oftentimes, the camaraderie and gentle accountability of a group make all the difference. Sometimes it’s not so much expertise that’s needed, but support. It’s okay to ask for help.

Buy my stuff. Or don’t.

Really. I mean it. Be choosy. There are wonderful opportunities amongst my offerings, but only if they are the right things at the right time for you. I hope you’ll join in – because it would be fun to hang out with you and learn useful stuff. And if you need help now, I want you to get it now. But it’s totally fine if now is not the moment. I’ll catch ya’ on the flip side.

No related posts.

Technically speaking, this is how I unplugged the weekend before last. So, even though it’s not completely fresh, it is a useful thing to be able to pull out of one’s back pocket that seems worth sharing.

As you may know, February was rough. And my sweetheart and I have learned the hard way that you if marinate in the ick too long you just get mired in its sticky mess, and it takes that much longer to get yourself unstuck.

So… since the 20th was a gorgeous clear-blue-sky day, we were inspired to travel the Anti-Crisis Loop.* I never thought of this favorite day-trip as such, but this time I realized we only take it when Things Are Too Much. And it always makes things better.

The same principle is at work here as going on a retreat: traveling to a different vantage point to regain perspective.

But that doesn’t mean you have to travel far. Just getting out of your house to a coffee shop or park in your neighborhood may be enough (but perhaps not the favorite one you always go to – we’re trying to get out of our usual ruts and routines here). Someplace with a vista is helpful. I also rather like there to be water. Not too noisy or busy. Good smells are nice – those of nature, or perhaps baked goods. Outdoors works better for me, but I could see how indoor spaces could be useful too – say, an art museum (with its vista of history and creativity).

Oh, and no agenda. The Anti-Crisis Loop is about spontaneity – not planning or problem solving. Goodness knows your crisis is demanding plenty of that from you – and this is about taking a break from it.

The Anti-Crisis Loop is a companion to the Puttering Basket. And just as your Puttering Basket is more effective when stocked before the weekend, your Anti-Crisis Loop will serve you better if you know what it is before you need it. You don’t want to be planning a road-trip when you are totally overwhelmed – you want to make it as easy as possible to just GO.

Which includes making peace with that part of you that feels you should stay on work on your crisis and giving yourself permission to press the pause button.

To create your own Anti-Crisis Loop:

1. choose an itinerary for a quick restorative getaway
2. give yourself a permission slip to take it when you need it
3. learn to recognize sooner rather than later when that is

That last one is important. An Emergency Anti-Crisis Loop is better than none, but it’s better not to let things get to that point (see above reference to longer time-frame for unsticking from the mess). Know the signs of Too Much – exhaustion, worry, resentment, confusion. When they show up, leave them behind for a day.

Chances are, they won’t be waiting for you when you get back.

* Locals, here’s the loop: From Portland, take US-30W to Westport. Hop on the ferry for a short ride across the river to Cathlamet, Washington (my favorite part). Travel west on WA-4/401, then cross the river back to the Oregon side to Astoria. If you are hungry, stop at Gunderson’s Cannery Cafe. Then proceed south on US-101 to Gearhart and Cannon Beach making sure to stop and enjoy the vast perspective-restoring beauty of the ocean before returning to Portland via US-26. Oh, and give your dog every opportunity to swim along the way.

• • • • •

Related posts:

1. The Anti-Newsletter
2. Anticipation
3. Relaxing with dirt of all kinds.

I usually think of December as the hardest month. Which is why I rarely plan anything more for December than hibernation.

But -oof- this past month seems worse than any December ever. I mean, the hard part of February is usually the cabin fever, but then it gets lighter in the morning and stuff starts blooming (at least it does in these parts) and you feel hope returning with all those little bud-lets – and it’s okay.

But not this February.

This February I’ve either been getting sick and recovering from that, or getting bad news and recovering from feeling like Life sucker punched me in the gut.

And it seems to be going around. In almost every group I’m a part of, at least half the people have been going through the most awful stuff. Maybe you’re experiencing it too.

And maybe, like me, you’d find it useful to look back at what the heck just happened before telling February: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

This month’s lessons learned…

I have good systems. My systems are so good they are drop-everything-and-go-to-a-retreat proof. But they are not common-cold proof. Nor sucker-punch proof. At least not when all three come at me in as many weeks. I don’t know that any system is sucker-punch proof. But right now, I’d settle for something that would just show me what didn’t get done while I was busy catching my breath so I knew how to pick up where I left off. I have some ideas about how to do this that have to do with my current love-affair with checklists. And buffers. We’ll see. But at this moment, things are way too messy for comfort.

Which bring us to: I hate untimely messes. I don’t like doing work that is about cleaning up the past. About “catching up.” About “I’m sorry this is so late.” I’m much more interested in working in the present/future. I know this stuff happens, life happens, sucker-punches happen. But still… Thinking about the floatation devices needed for these occasions.

Which then bring us to: Follow-up/follow-through is my kryptonite. Workin’ on the antidote. It’s all about making finishing easy. And probably more checklists (and more floatation devices).

The clever, the gimmicky, the borderline manipulative? All create administrative headaches. Clean, clear offers = systems bliss. (Surprised I didn’t notice this before.)

When something isn’t working and your Worried Hamster insists you should do something completely different instead, just keep it busy with its critter cruiser (or its dazzle critter carriage if it’s more easily distracted by glitter) and do what you’re already doing, only better.

I’ve also learned that people are very supportive, understanding and forgiving (thank you). And that I’m not the only with a dark and inappropriate sense of humor when it comes to coping with bad news. I’m grateful for a lot of things in the midst of all the yuck this month, but mostly for all the laughter.

And the thing is, it is lighter in the morning and everything is blooming and it will be March in a few days. And we’ll all get a fresh, new spring-timey Do-Over. I love me a clean slate.

And there’s so much to look forward to this spring – almost an embarrassment of riches…

• next Thursday’s very timely and much-needed workshop on Inner Spring Cleaning with stuff-shifting sound-master Fabeku
• not one but two (yes, a Saturday!) Bite the Candy sessions in March
• the Living Theme Booster Program (I know my annual theme could use a boost)
• another opportunity to become a Time Disciple and heal your relationship with Time
• and the soon-to-be-revealed make-over of the Organic Business Manual course (stay tuned)

Lots of doings around here. All good. And all more than enough to make February a distant memory.

Whatever your experience this month, what have you learned about what you want to leave behind or carry forward into March?

• • • • •

Related posts:

1. Gratitude Learned
2. Lessons Learned #18 – Do the half-right thing
3. To Resolve, Loosen & Release

This means that.

Story: The light changed. The driver didn’t notice. The pedestrian didn’t see the car. The pedestrian stepped into the intersection and was hit.
Meaning: Traffic can be dangerous. Be careful.

See? Useful.

Except sometimes we get it wrong. This doesn’t always mean that. It may have meant that in the past, but not this time. This time – the light, the car, the pedestrian, the intersection – something is different. This time, this means something else. Perhaps this time it’s not dangerous, but we think it is and act accordingly. Our story keeps us from crossing the street. Or maybe we make it across, but the whole thing is needlessly scary.

We don’t notice what’s changed because we are preoccupied by our commitments and worries, and just trying to do our thing from day to day.

It’s so easy to give lip service to meditation, movement, getting out into nature, journaling, connecting with something larger, being present, and other forms of tuning into ourselves. But in the midst of all those commitments and worries, they are often the things we first set aside.

The consequence of which is we keep doing and responding to things the same old ways. Because we haven’t noticed this doesn’t mean that anymore. We haven’t given ourselves the opportunity.

Unnoticed, unquestioned, unexamined – our old stories accumulate.

Like the pile of stuff in the corner of my office, which includes:

• two old phone books,
• the leftovers of a conference presentation I did last year,
• a box of books I want to sell to Powells,
• materials I need to return to a past VA client,
• a stack of financial documents that need to be filed and archived,
• and a couple bags of stuff I thought I’d sell on Ebay or Craigslist, including the flute I haven’t played since high school.

[ Um, yes, I know - I need to do one of my own Bite the Candy sessions or join one of Jennifer Hofmann's Office Spa Days. ]

This stuff is old. Some of it is ancient. It is a pile of my past businesses and past selves. And it’s not doing anything to help me be who I am now or want to become.

In fact, it’s blocking it. Not just by taking up physical space, but serving as a constant reminder of how things used to be. Which reinforces my stories. It’s a pile that says, “This means that, remember?”

It works the same way in our hearts and minds.

Our experiences collect like dust bunnies in the corners, behind the couch and under the bed until they are the size of what Gary Larson once referred to as Dust Rhinos. And unless we vacuum from time to time, our inner spaces can start to get pretty gross.

There’s no space for the new. And endless reminders that the new isn’t possible. This is just how things are. This means that.

We don’t usually think about decluttering our inner spaces, but they need it even more than our physical spaces. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty vigilant about not acquiring more stuff, yet stuff keeps filling my house! If my interior home is accumulating stuff at the same rate, mental and emotional clutter-clearing obviously needs to be a frequent thing. There needs to be a regular sorting through of what to keep and what to toss, a rearranging of the furniture, maybe a shampooing of the carpets and cleaning of the windows.

(Hiro Boga calls this energy hygiene and considers it as important as brushing your teeth every day.)

Just as we are refreshed by a physical space that has been cleared and cleansed, so are we renewed by clearing our internal spaces.

It helps us shift our stories. Replace old, worn-out limiting beliefs with new ones that serve us better. Do differently. Respond differently.

See that this could mean that instead.

In our rush to achieve and change and grow and generally Make Things Happen, this sort of inner decluttering can go neglected. There isn’t time. We’ve got important stuff to do. Yet it’s the very thing that would make the doing easier and more effective.

Think about it. Think about the quality of your work when you feel clear and on. Think about the flow and ease of that.

Clean and clear means flow and ease.
In this case, this really does mean that.

I know this. I’ve known it for a long time. But knowing and doing are two different things, two different kinds of knowing.

Chances are you are also committed to this sort of self-care in some way. But, like me, you aren’t as consistent in doing it as you would like to be. You know there could be more flow and ease if you could just ignore that hamster in your head on its wheel of: no time! no time! no time! and do it anyway.

Even though it’s so worthwhile, it can be a tricky part of maintenance to make peace with. And yet make peace with it we must. Or we will turn into stark raving kooky-pooks. Who never get what they most want. Which turns us into angry, frustrated and disappointed kooky-pooks.

It’s not pretty.

So let’s just do the vacuuming already.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to do it. I listed a bunch above. Hiro knows lovely ways of going about it. As does Jen Louden. There’s always the mind-sweeping Shiva Nata.

And there’s sound healing with Fabeku.

Uh-huh. You heard me. Sound healing. Turns out sound is one of the fastest and easiest ways of shifting stuff and making room for what you really want. And on March 4 you can join Fabeku and me for some spring cleaning. From the inside out. With sound.

We’ll be clearing the inner clutter that’s been collecting in the corners and making room for the awesome we want in our lives and business. Plus Fabeku will teach us a few simple-but-crazy-effective sound-ey superpowers that will help us shift stuck and get back into the flow anytime, anywhere.

(How can you pass up stuck-shifting superpowers?)

Fabeku is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world and I can guarantee we’re going to have a great time decluttering our inner spaces. I hope you’ll come give it a try.

But, hey, if it’s not your kind of gig, that’s cool. The important thing is to find what you like and what works and do it. Your heart and mind will thank you. And you will be rewarded with the kind of new you’d most like to show up in your shiny clean spaces. You know, like that perfect lamp. Or whatever it is you’re looking for.

• • • • •

Related posts:

1. Clearing My Circles of Influence

While much of what I wrote in 2008 now embarrasses me (even though I know this is true for every blogger), I still like my first-ever post a lot.

As metaphors go, this describes action in the face of risk quite nicely (if I do say so myself). And I’m proud of that person-I-was two years ago for beginning. It’s been a swell ride so far.

If you’re feeling that urge to break through and start something too – just begin. Chances are, it’s time.

• • • • •

The first small, green shoots of the flower bulbs I planted last fall are beginning to break through the soil. “No! Stop! Wait!” I want to tell them, “It’s too soon! There might be another frost!”

But they know what they are doing. They know it’s time.

Inspired by their confident intuition, I too begin.

• • • • •

Related posts:

1. The Moment Has Arrived
2. Lessons Learned #14 – Go Ahead & Begin
3. Equinox Approaches

Spending the coming week at a retreat was not in my plans. Which is probably the reason I am going.

Recently, Jennifer Louden has been asking folks why they don’t retreat more often and this week I realized why.

The thing that gets in the way of going on retreat is thinking about it.

I didn’t have time to think about it. I was invited to take the space of a last minute cancellation. Five days ago.

The question was simply: Do I want to?

Why yes. Yes I do. Because I’ve been getting pretty frayed at the ends lately. And that’s with things going well. This couldn’t have been better timing. And if I had any doubts about that, even my horoscope for the week agrees.

So I said: Yes, I’ll be there.

And then I figured out what I needed to do to make it happen.

Which brings up something I’ve been wanting to talk about here: the proper order of decision-making.

It came up with a coaching client recently, among other instances – and since it seems to turning up all over the place right now, I figure this is a good time to say it.

The traditional way of making a decision is to first identify a desired direction or outcome, then come up with a plan about how you might achieve said outcome, then decide if you should do it.

It’s certainly the way decision-making is done in business. You get an idea, come up with a plan and test it’s viability, before trying to get outside approval and support to finance your venture. Which is probably a good approach if you want to build a sky-rise or something huge and high risk like that. But for more ordinary, low-risk decisions? Uh, not so much.

That whole weighing the pros and cons thing? I’m not sure that’s how things really happen. And I doubt if anything really beautiful or innovative has ever come from such a process.

The proper order of decision-making is this:
knowing what you want > choosing it (committing) > strategizing about how to make it happen

It’s not this:
knowing what you want > strategizing about how to make it happen > choosing it (committing)

If you are looking to your plans to find out IF it will be okay to do something you want to do, it’s never gonna happen. The future is unpredictable. And your very smart brain knows that. It’s going to throw out yeah-but-what-abouts until the proverbial cows come home.

Plans give can give you a confident sense of direction, but there is no plan that will guarantee a specific outcome. If you are waiting to arrive at the perfect plan before you take action, you probably have this thing reversed. Plans are for figuring out how to do what you’ve chosen to do. They tell you what to do when, they don’t tell you IF.

• • • • •

In another airport. Delayed due to the aftermath of some not-so-conducive-to-flying weather this morning. Which turns out to be a really good example of why you shouldn’t wait for plans to be perfect before you put something into motion. If the airlines waited to have a perfect plan, none of us would get anywhere in our travels. At this point everyone is improvising – and the thing is, we’ll still get where we want to go. Eventually.

While we’re delayed, I’d like to pause for a moment here and acknowledge the miracle of flight.

I don’t care what Bill Nye the Science Guy says about different air speeds above and below the wings, I just doesn’t seem like it should work. That old Shelley Berman routine is what usually goes through my head during take off: And you roll, don’t you? You roll and roll and roll and roll and you say to yourself, “Tonight to hell with science. Tonight we’re not going to make it.”

But this time I was with the kids in the row in front of me: Yay! Up up and away!

Squee! I’m going on retreat!

More than the miracle of flight is the beauty of it all up there. The patterns of the land, the clouds, the sky blue sky. All it takes is the change in vantage point to remember the miraculous beauty of it all. I totally get why pilots dig their jobs.

Retreats are also a good way to shift your vantage point to a place from which you can see how beautiful things really are.

Which is a nice little segué back to what I was saying about decision-making and what it has to do with retreats.

If you want to retreat > commit to retreat > then figure out how to make it happen.

When I was invited, I told the kind person making the offer that I needed to sleep on it. But I didn’t. I checked a few key things: was my spouse cool with me going? could I get a flight? did anything need my location-specific attention? Yes. Yes. and No.*

* If you are in one of my programs and thinking, “But what about class this week?!” Don’t worry. I’ll be there.

Any more than that and I knew thinking would get me into trouble. The hamster in my head would start going on and on and on about what a crazy, selfish thing it would be to do. What about the cost? What about your business? What if you don’t get anything out of it? What about, what about, what about… My hamster is a very tedious worry wort. And this time I just didn’t feel like indulging him by sleeping on my decision.

I knew I wanted to go, so I committed. And then spent the next four days figuring out what needed to be delivered when and queued it up so I would be free to focus on the retreat. I was even so organized as to set up a few things for the days when I first get back. Because I assume retreat hangover is a lot like vacation hangover.

It wasn’t the crazy madness I thought it would be.

(Which begs the question: why don’t I do this more often? Not necessarily retreat, but set things up so I have extended periods to focus on important projects?)

A little writing, upload some files, coordinate with some people, do some laundry – good to go.

The white noise of our lives is made up of so much I can’t.

I can’t right now. I can’t afford it. I can’t leave. I can’t take a break. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. A little background hum that’s been playing so long we don’t even notice it anymore.

But we can. And it’s not as hard as we think it’s going to be.

The same thing happened last fall when I went to Jen Louden’s one-day retreat in Seattle. I didn’t give signing up a second thought and it was a lovely experience.

I got to practice what I preach and take care of me, I got to hug Jen and my other favorite Jen, and hang out with them and other cool women in real life not just on-line. And Jennifer did her amazing thing of asking really good questions and then giving us a safe and comfortable space to answer them. And support each other and play together. And it was… oh, how do I put this? It shored me up.

It shifted my vantage point to a place from which I could see and remember how beautiful things are.

I’m guessing right now there is some part of you that really wants to get away somehow, but the white noise of your life is insisting you can’t.

I say you can. If you want to retreat, do it. Make the decision then figure out how to make it happen.

And you can start with something easy. Jennifer Louden is hosting a virtual retreat in just a few weeks. You can shift your vantage point without leaving your home. Which significantly simplifies what you need to do or prepare in order to be there.

Personally, I find it much easier to figure out how to make something happen after I’ve committed to it. There is a flow to the process that doesn’t happen otherwise.

But perhaps this all sounds like hogwash? If so, as with my systems challenge – whether it’s retreating or something else you want to do – I invite you to try this approach and prove me wrong.

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Related posts:

1. F.E.A.R.
2. Looking Too Far, Too Often
3. Lennon Wisdom

It’s not uncommon for people to procrastinate, especially when it comes to bookkeeping and accounting tasks.  I can honestly say that I’ve never once heard someone sit down at their desk and say, “Yay! Today’s bookkeeping day!”

However, the opposite is quite true. I have folks e-mailing me all the time saying, “I’ve always been meaning to tackle this bookkeeping stuff, but I’ve really been putting it off so often that it’s now become a big, nasty project!”

The first thing I want to say about this is that sometimes avoiding something is healthy. Sometimes we need to be in a certain mood or state of being to effectively tackle something.

My own bookkeeping sometimes gets the snooze button for a few days when I’m just not feeling it. And I let myself off the hook when I don’t feel like doing it, because I know, from past experience, that if I jump in when I AM in the mood, I fly through it with joy!

And if there’s a surprising outcome, like less money coming in than I’d hoped and anticipated, I can absorb that information much more easily when I’m in the right space, mentally. So it’s worth it to listen to internal signals about doing or not doing the accounting (or anything else for that matter).

But making sure it’s not a long lasting pattern of avoidance is key.

And I completely understand that fear plays into most people’s avoidance of bookkeeping and accounting tasks. There’s often an underlying fear that you may uncover something terrifying. Even though you may feel like everything in your business is financially pretty healthy right now, you may still have all that fear and worry tied up in the “thought of money.”

But you also know how good it feels when your books are up-to-date. So there is a certain appeal to having it done, it’s just the getting it there that feels overwhelming.

You may even have come to the realization that the fear of doing it is worse than the reality of doing it, but it can still be so hard to take the first steps to get going on it.

When I find myself in that spot, here’s what I do. I use a trick.

I tell myself I’m NOT going to do all of it right now. I’m only going to do X (for example, open the QuickBooks file up).

Then once the QB file is open, I say, okay, now I’m only going to download the bank statement from the bank.

I literally allow myself to choose to stop after each step, saying I’m only going to do the next step and then stop after that.

It breaks down the resistance (the automatic fight/flight instinct within) just enough that soon enough I’m flying through without even realizing I’m doing it ALL! Once I start, I just keep going. And before I know it, I’m all caught up.

I remind myself to use this trick whenever I’m avoiding doing something by thinking of this slogan I learned when on the island of St. Lucia for my honeymoon in June of 2003… And you’ve got to say it to yourself with an island flair to really make it work!

“Eh Mon, no pressures, no problems!”

So if you’ve been avoiding tackling your bookkeeping and accounting, or any other business or life task for that matter, try taking the pressure off yourself and seeing if you can build a little momentum into your process and it’ll all be done before you even have time to think about how much you don’t want to be doing it!

One last thing to consider: it’s often hugely helpful to have an accountability buddy when you’re facing a big (or even not so big) project. Especially when it’s in an arena of your business that might bring up emotions and fears…

So if you think it might be helpful to join up with others in the same situation and hear more tips and additional guidance about how to make things happen so you’re ready for tax day before tax day has arrived, please join me February 4 and 11 for my tele-workshop with Cairene.

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Jessica Reagan Salzman founded Heart Based Bookkeeping out of her passion to assist small business owners as they traverse the path to creating a successful business. You can learn more about Jessica at JessRS.com and you can follow her on Twitter @JessRS.

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Related posts:

1. When Mood and Desire Are More Alike Than Not
2. Lessons Learned #19 – The next level of resisting bright shiny objects
3. Newton's First & Second Laws of Motion

As you may remember, last week I explained that sometimes unplugging isn’t about resting. It’s about doing something completely different from what you usually do.

This week’s unplugging post is simply a short addendum to that.

Havi the Pirate Queen is completely correct when she says that roller derby is the best stress-buster ever.

1. It has all the best elements of sport with just the right amount of theater to make it really fun (and I don’t mean that in a wrestling sort of way).
2. It has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of your life. It’s not like anything that happens is going to remind you of that thing on your to-do list you forgot to do.
3. You get to hang out with friends, amidst a crowd of fans that feels like they could be your friends.
4. The screaming is also good.

I am now a total convert and raving fan. Wherever you live, I encourage you to seek out your local league. If you are in Portland, check out the Rose City Rollers. Havi supports the Guns N Rollers, and therefore so do I. But you are free, of course, to pick your own favorite.

We’ll see you there.

• • • • •

How did you unplug this weekend?
What are the completely-different activities that refill your well?

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Related posts:

1. And now for something completely different.
2. Free from…
3. Anticipation